Jealousy Can Lead To Bad Things, Dude!
by Become One With Russia
Summary: Mai start seeing Alister, but Valon still cares about her! This leads him to look for every possible way to sabatoge their relationship and embarrass the hell out of Alister. Oh, God! This ain't gonna be good!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

DOOM Fangirl: "Hey, people! I've got a new story! Many thanks to EmissaryoftheOasis, who supplied the idea for this story. I hope everyone can enjoy this! Read on!"

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Pairings: Mai/Alister, one-sided Valon/Mai, mentions of Raphael/Serenity, and Seto/Ishizu

Alister sat on the sofa in the den of the house he was sharing with the other former DOOM members, thinking.

He'd been thinking a lot; mostly about relationships. Valon loved Mai, and Raphael was in a relationship with that Serenity Wheeler girl. Damn! According to gossip, even Seto Kaiba was going out with someone! Some Ishizu woman.

The redhead was the only one who had never felt a special way about someone, and he, honestly, felt left out.

"What's up?" said a female voice from the doorway.

Alister looked up to see Mai Valentine standing there.

"Oh. Not much."

"Ya sure? Ya looked awfully thoughtful."

"Yeah, well…You know…"

"Hmm. Yeah, I do. There's some stuff ya just don't feel like talkin' about, right?"

"Pretty much."

"Well, Hun, if ya DO wanna talk, I'm here." she turned to leave.

"Mai, wait!" he called.

"Hmm?" she turned back, her blonde hair swishing.

_She's got pretty hair…_ Alister thought, but quickly dismissed this thought, and said, "Um…can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, Hun. What is it?" She asked, sitting next to him.

_She smells good…Wait! What am I THINKING?_

"Um, wh-what's it like to…to be…in love?" He turned away from her, so she wouldn't see his blush; it was embarrassing to ask anyone-let alone a woman!-that.

He prepared for her to laugh her head off, but she didn't.

"You wanna know?" she asked, gently turning his head toward her.

He looked down and nodded.

"Well…" She didn't say anything more; instead she kissed him.

The redhead's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, and he did nothing out of shock.

Then, he felt Mai's arms wrap around his neck, and he wrapped his own around her waist, and kissed back, shyly, and a little clumsily, as he had no idea what he was doing.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?" an angry voice shouted.

The two quickly pulled apart, and looked toward the doorway to see a very, very, VERY angry Valon.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE YOUR LIPS ON MAI?" the brunet demanded.

"I-I-I…N-no! I-it's not…" Alister stuttered.

"What business is it of YOURS?" the blonde woman asked him shortly.

"'Cuz you and me…We're…"

"Not together," Mai finished for him. "We never were, either. YOU are too immature for MY taste. Joey, too. I need someone like Alister, honestly."

"B-but, Mai…I…" Valon trailed off, then his baby blue eyes blazed with angry fire, as he looked at Alister.

"I bloody HATE you!" the Australian shouted, and ran from the room.

The two on the sofa looked after him for a moment, before the red-haired man turned to the woman he'd been kissing, and said, "Mai?"

"Yeah, Hun?"

"D-did you mean that? Y-you like me?"

She smiled. "Yeah, I do. What about you? Do YOU like ME?"

He blushed a little before saying, "Yes," and leaning in to kiss her again.

Unknown to THEM, a very hurt and angry Valon was in his room, thinking of how he could get back at the man he had once called a friend.

One word came to mind: _Humiliation._

"But HOW?" the teen wondered aloud.

He pulled a pad of paper and a pen from his desk drawer, and began to brainstorm.

DOOM Fangirl: "I'll end the chapter there. Please leave a review, okay? I need reviews! I'll be putting up more, soon! I've got some ideas already, but any suggestions of things Valon should do to Alister are welcome! I can't guarantee I'll use them, but I'm open to hear them!"


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter Two_

_DOOM Fangirl: "I'm back with the second chapter! To my first reviewer (you KNOW who you are!) I'm glad you like it! Now, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!"_

_Disclaimer: I find this rather pointless, but, as getting sued would NOT be cool, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!_

_The next morning, while Alister was in the shower, Valon decided to start "Operation: Humiliation" (how original)._

_He snuck into the bathroom, took the redhead's clean clothes, dirty pajamas, and all the towels, and, snuck back out._

_About ten minutes later, Alister came out of the shower, looked around, and thought, I'm screwed._

He decided to try to make a run for it, from the bathroom to his room-after all his room was only across the hall and two doors down.

Of course, a certain blue-eyed brunet had to screw this up.

"Oi! Mai! Come here!" he shouted, as he leaned against the door to the redhead's room.

"What the hell are you DOING?" Alister demanded in a whisper.

"Just wait," was the reply he got.

So, poor Alister was trying to get past Valon when Mai came walking over.

"What the hell?" she asked.

Alister felt the blood rush to his face.

"M-Mai, I-I'm not! I-it's not…"

"I must admit THIS is a side of you I've never seen," the blonde giggled.

The Aussie chuckled as he watched the mortified redhead run into the nearest room.

They heard a shriek; he had run right into Serenity's room!

"Pervert! Get out! Raph! Help!"

And he ran back out.

This time, Valon let him enter his own room.

"That was mean, Valon," Mai told him, guessing what had happened.

"And not very impressive, either," he replied. "I'm MUCH bigger! Wanna see?"

SLAP!

And she stormed off, without any parting words.

Meanwhile, in his room, Alister was getting dressed, while chocking back tears of embarrassment. He'd never been so humiliated in his entire life!

_That Aussie's gonna PAY! _he thought angrily.

DOOM Fangirl: "Oh, God! Now Alister's gonna go after Valon, too! You know what THAT means, right? No? It means we should probably run and hide in a bomb shelter. So, what did you think? Like it? Please review! See you in the next chapter!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

DOOM Fangirl: "Alright, then! This is the third chapter! I hope I'm doing okay…Anyway, here it is; enjoy!"

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! If I did, you'd know!

The entire day of the shower incident, Alister stayed in his room.

There were two reasons: 1) he was still pretty embarrassed, and (the more main reason) 2) he was plotting how to get back at Valon.

Eventually, though, his hunger and thirst got the better of him, and he went to go grab something to eat and drink.

On his way back to his room, he passed by the den, and saw the boy he currently hated sleeping on the sofa.

This gave him an idea; a very mean idea.

He went over to the brunet, and made sure he was asleep, by saying, "Whoa! Mai! Put your shirt back on!"

When there was no reaction, he was pretty sure Valon was knocked out.

So, he carefully took the boys hand, and dipped it in his glass of cranberry juice.

The redhead smirked when he saw a wet spot spread over the crotch of the brunet's pants, then he left the room.

It was about a minute later, when Mai went into the den to watch TV.

_Oh, God! _she thought, when she saw Valon on the couch. _HE'S here!_

She clapped her hands loudly by his head, causing him to yelp and sit bolt up-right.

"The hell?" he screamed. "Oh, it's you, Mai. What's up?"

"I'm about to watch my show. Either leave, or move over."

"Right."

It was just then the brunet noticed a warm, wet feeling he had in between his legs.

He looked down and his eyes got wide.

_I…I didn't…_ he thought.

But it was obvious that he DID.

The blonde followed his gaze and her eyes widened too.

"D-did you…"

"No!" he exclaimed.

"Oh, GOD! The COUCH is wet, too!" she pointed to a small wet spot on the sofa, from which he had gotten up.

Valon's cheeks burned.

"I-I-I…Th-that's never happened to me, before!" he insisted.

Then he noticed something; his hand had small spots of cranberry juice on it.

_Why the hell…?_ he wondered, since he hated the stuff.

Then, it clicked.

"THAT ASSHOLE!" he shouted, running off to find Alister.

The redhead was in his bedroom, finishing his yogurt, with a glass of cranberry juice sitting next to his bed.

"YOU!" the Aussie shouted angrily.

The older male looked up, uninterestedly, and said, "What do you want?"

"You did this!" Valon shouted.

"Did what? Oh…Did you piss yourself?"

"You KNOW the answer to BOTH those questions! I'll get you back! I WILL!" And he went to his room to change.

DOOM Fangirl: "Yeah, that was mean. Never do that to people, okay? So, now Valon needs to get back at Alister. For anyone who has any suggestions, I'm open to hearing them! Please review, even if you DON'T have a suggestion-I like to hear what you think! Later!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

DOOM Fangirl: "And I'm back with the next chapter! Hooray! Let's all do a happy dance!" *happy dances with everyone reading this* "Anyway, here's Valon's next revenge scheme. Enjoy!"

Disclaimer: "No, I do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh!

The day after the cranberry juice incident, Valon came up with a plan.

It involved sneaking into Mai's AND Alister's rooms, which made it dangerous-if anyone saw him, he'd be dead-but he was willing to give it a shot.

So, he waited until everyone was at breakfast, and slipped into Mai's room.

He went to her dresser, and opened the top drawer, which held exactly what he was looking for.

_Oh, yeah, _he thought, grinning like the pervert he was, as he held up a pair of silky black panties.

He felt something stir in his pants as he thought about where this particular article of clothing had been, but ignored it, and quickly stuffed the undergarments inside his shirt.

Then, he slipped back out and went to the redhead's room.

He opened the closet, took out the panties, and stuffed them into the pocket of Alister's favorite trench coat, making sure that they protruded from the pocket just a bit.

He snickered and left the room.

Later…

"Hey, Alister?" Mai asked.

"What's up?" he replied.

"Ya wanna go on a date?"

"Wh-what?"

"A date. That thing couples do that involves spending quality time with each other out of the house?"

"I-I know what a date IS! I've just…never BEEN on one."

"Whaaaat? A hot-lookin' guy like YOU never been on a DATE?"

"No," Alister replied, blushing slightly from that "hot-lookin'" comment.

"Well, there's a first time for everything! Let's go!"

"S-sure. Just…lemme get my coat."

He went into his room, grabbed his trench coat (failing to take notice of the undergarments slightly sticking out of the pocket), put it on, and went back to where Mai was, finding her conversing with Serenity.

"No, Hun," the blonde was saying, "you can NOT just wait around for HIM to put the moves on you; try something, like, I don't know…bending over in a short skirt."

The redhead sweat dropped and cleared his throat.

"Mai?" he asked

"Oh, hey, Alister!" Mai said cheerily. "Ready?"

"Yeah," he said.

"What's that?" Serenity asked, pointing to the pocket of Alister's trench coat.

"Hmm?" he asked, looking at where she was pointing.

His brow furrowed; he had no clue what it was. He took the object out…

…And flushed a shade of red that put his hair to shame.

"The hell?" the brunette girl asked.

"Hold on! Those are MINE!" Mai exclaimed, also blushing. "Why the hell do you have them?"

"I-I-I-I don't know!" the red-haired man stammered truthfully.

"Whatever! Give 'em here, Pervert!" the blonde snatched them, and stormed off.

_How the hell did THOSE get there? _Alister wondered.

He heard chuckling, and turned to see Valon.

"An' people call ME a perv?" he asked, grinning.

"Wait…YOU PUT THEM THERE!" the redhead accused.

"Maybe," the boy shrugged.

"Mai! It wasn't Alister's fault!" Serenity called, running after the older woman.

"Damn! Forgot that brat was 'ere! Oh, well; it was worth seein' your face!"

"I'll get you back, Valon! I WILL!" Alister told him.

DOOM Fangirl: "And, so, this chapter ends. What'll happen next?"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

DOOM Fangirl: "I'm back with another chapter! I'm really having a lot of fun with this one! Anyway, please remember: do NOT use these pranks on anyone who you like, because they are very mean. Now, on with it!"

Alister had fun with Mai on their date (after Serenity had told the older woman the truth, and she had slapped Valon), but he still really wanted to get the Aussie back for embarrassing him like that.

He came up with a plan, and ran out to the store to buy the necessary item: itching powder.

The next morning, while Varon was in the shower, Alister snuck into the bathroom and put a bunch of the powder in the brunet's underpants.

**Later…**

Valon didn't know why, but his crotch was extremely itchy.

He looked around the den, making sure no one was there, then put his hand between his legs, and began to scratch.

This did not help-if anything, he got MORE itchy.

So, he scratched more.

Just then, Mai and Alister walked in-the latter with his arm around the former's waist.

The blonde looked at Valon (who hadn't noticed them, yet), and said, "Oh dear LORD!"

The boy jumped, and turned to them (still unable to stop scratching himself).

"H-hey, Mai," he said, looking extremely embarrassed.

"What the hell, Valon?" Alister demanded. "If you have crabs or something, go get a special shampoo!"

Mai stifled her laughter, but the brunet realized she thought it was funny, and blushed.

"Sh-shut up!" he said, leaving.

Once he was gone, Mai burst out laughing.

"Wow," she said.

"Indeed," the redhead replied.

**In Valon's room…**

The Australian was thoroughly humiliated.

Then, he remembered something: he had seen his rival put a container of itching powder in his closet the day before.

_HE did this! _the teen realized, becoming just as angry as the itch he had.

Now knowing what was wrong, Valon took another shower, and changed his clothes.

He was SO getting Alister back.

And he knew how, too.

DOOM Fangirl: "Oooh! What's Valon gonna do? I will post the next chapter either later today, or sometime tomorrow. Please review. Later!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

DOOM Fangirl: "I'm back with a new chapter! This chapter is just WRONG, by the way! But it's still PG-13. Anyways, enjoy!"

Disclaimer: I forgot to do this in the last chapter, and don't care to go fix it. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Valon rode his bike down to the drugstore after he had finished his shower and was in clean, non-itchy clothes

_Hell if I'm actually gonna BUY this!_ he thought, picking up a small bottle of pills and stuffing it in his back pocket.

He bought a candy bar, and rode back home.

He quickly ran into Alister's room and dumped all of the redhead's aspirin into the wastebasket, then put in the pills he'd bought…

…Which happened to be Viagra.

**Later…**

Valon took care to be as noisy as he could the entire day, shouting and playing loud music, and it wasn't long before Alister needed his aspirin.

He took two of the pills, and went back to the den where he was watching TV with Mai, Serenity, and Raphael (Valon was still making noise).

"I'm hungry," the redhead said after a while, standing up. "Anyone want anything?"

Serenity "eeped" and said, "Um…n-no."

"Alister," Mai began, "do I turn you on?"

He blushed, thinking, _Yes,_ but said, "Wh-why do you ask?"

_Does he not notice?_ Raphael wondered.

"No reason," the woman shrugged.

"Um…okay?" he said, going into the kitchen.

Raphael followed him, and said, "Um, Alister?"

"Yeah, Raph?"

"You should take care of…THAT-you freaked Serenity out.""Take care of what?" the younger man asked, totally clueless.

"You're…southern problem," the blond said.

Alister suddenly realized why his pants were tighter than usual, and his cheeks burned.

"D-d-did the girls see that?" he demanded.

His friend nodded.

Alister hid his red face and quickly went to his room.

Once his problem had been "taken care of", he wondered why the hell he'd had the problem in the first place. Then, he noticed the small bottle in his wastebasket.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" he screamed.

He wanted to throttle Valon, for no one else would have done that.

_Self-control,_ he told himself.

He'd get him back.

DOOM Fangirl: "End of this chapter. Wow, that must really suck… Anyways, I've got the idea in my mind, so the next chapter will be up very soon. Please leave a review. Later!"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

DOOM Fangirl: "I'm back, again! Let's dance!" *waves glow sticks and dances* "Okay, I'm done. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!"

Alister decided that the best way to get back at Valon would NOT be to humiliate him (that didn't seem to be working), but to do to him the four things he hated most-all at once!

In the dead of night, the redhead snuck into the boy's room, and quickly tied his arms and legs to the bedposts. Valon hated to not be able to move.

Next, Alister clapped his hands by the brunet's head, effectively startling him awake. Valon hated to be woken up.

"The hell'd ya do tha'…MMPH!"

He was cut off when the redhead slapped a piece of duct tape over his mouth. Valon hated not being able to talk.

The boy was screaming into the duct tape, but all that Alister heard was "Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmmph!"

Then, Alister decided to do the last thing Valon hated most; he began to tickle his sides.

The sounds the brunet was making grew more high-pitched and quicker-giggles, for sure.

He tried to squirm around, but he was tied, so he couldn't.

"Remember how me and Raph used to do this whenever you wouldn't listen to us?"

Valon nodded, still making the sounds and trying to squirm.

_I'll kill him! _the boy thought, as he was tickled. _I'll fucking kill him!_

When Alister decided Valon had had enough (which was about fifteen minutes later), the brunet was heaving, and tears were streaming down his face.

"If you EVER try to humiliate me AGAIN, I'll do it for an HOUR," the redhead threatened, leaving the room without bothering to untie OR ungag Valon, who would not be rescued until after breakfast the following morning.

The boy was uncomfortable and unable to return to sleep.

However, this gave him enough time to plot.

And he'd come up with something good…

DOOM Fangirl: "Oooh! You'll have to wait till the next chapter comes out to see what Valon has planned. Don't worry, though-it'll be out soon! Probably tomorrow! Anyways, please review! Later!"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

DOOM Fangirl: "Whoo! I finally got my idea for the next chapter! It's only been, what, two days? Still, I wanted to do it sooner. Anyway, enjoy!"

Disclaimer: Sometimes, I forget to do these. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

For his new plan to work, Valon would need help from someone.

Which is what had brought him to the Kaiba Corp skyscraper.

Ishizu (who knew Valon from a time he'd saved her from street punks) let him in.

"Thanks, Ish," the boy told her.

"Not a problem," she replied. "What is it you need?"

"Well, as the world knows, you're datin' Kaiba, righ'?"

"Yes."

"An' everyone knows 'e makes cool stuff, righ'?"

"Yes."

"Did 'e eva make…truth serum?"

"Well…yes, but I'm not sure I'd trust you with it, Valon."

"Please, Ish?" the brunet pleaded, giving her an irresistible puppy-dog look.

"Well…fine."

So, he left with a syringe of truth serum.

**That night, in the den…**

Alister sat in the den, waiting for everyone else, so they could all watch a movie.

"Oi, there, Al," Valon said, walking in, his hand behind his back.

The redhead didn't look up-he wasn't in the mood.

Therefore, he didn't notice what the Australian was up to until he felt pain in his upper arm, where he was shot with truth serum.

Just then, Serenity and Raphael walked in holding hands.

Valon quickly threw the syringe in the wastebasket (he's really not good at disposing of things, is he?).

"'Ey, you two love birds!" he greeted them.

"Ya know," Alister began, 'you're a lucky girl, Serenity."

"I know," she replied.

"Good. Beacause…I used to have a crush on Raph, you know."

It took every ounce of willpower Valon had not to burst out laughing.

Serenity raised an eyebrow.

Raphael looked as though he had seen something extremely disturbing (such as…I don't know…his parents making love in the afterlife, maybe?).

Just then, Mai came in.

"Hey, guys," she said, sitting next to her boyfriend, who put his arm around her shoulders, and said, "You know, Mai, YOU are the second sexiest person I've ever met."

"Who's the first?" Valon giggled, unable to stop himself.

"You are," the redhead said seriously.

Everyone stared at Alister as though he'd lost his mind.

The Aussie looked as though he might vomit-he almost did when the redhead went off about a sexual fantasy involving himself, Valon, Raphael, Mai, Serenity, Seto, and Ishizu…all at the same time, in a massive orgy.

"Raphael, he's scaring me," Serenity whispered.

"Hun," Mai began, gently putting a hand on Alister's arm to stop his sexual rant, "did you have any alcohol tonight?"

"Nope."

"Drugs?"

"Valon shot me up with…Well, I'm not sure what it is he shot me up with."

The blonde woman glared at the teen boy, who laughed nervously, and ran like hell to his room, slamming and locking the door behind him.

**Later…**

When the truth serum finally wore off, Alister realized what he'd been saying, and couldn't have been more humiliated had he danced naked in Domino Square and it had been put on youtube.

He knew Valon had to pay.

He just didn't know how he'd do it.

DOOM Fangirl: "Yay! This chapter is over! I've got an idea for the next chapter, so be on the look-out for it, okay? Please review! Later!"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

DOOM Fangirl: "All right! Another chapter! I hope you're enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it! (Or, at least, ALMOST as much!) Enjoy!"

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot.

Alister thought all night long, but nothing came to him, until at around 2 in the afternoon the next day, when Mai went out to get the mail, while Valon was blowing the leaves into piles.

The redhead approached the brunet, and said, "There are other uses for leaf-blowers, you know."

"Like what?" Valon asked suspiciously.

Alister grabbed the leaf-blower, and turned it toward Mai, making her skirt fly up.

She squeaked, and Alister quickly thrust the device back into Valon's hands, and shouted, "Valon! Why the hell did you DO that?"

"WHA'?"

The blonde turned angrily to face them.

"VALON!" she screamed.

"I-it wasn't me!" the Australian insisted.

But she was already over there.

She kicked him where it hurts, making him grunt and double over in pain.

Alister flinched, thinking, _Damn! She better never figure out the truth!_

**Later…**

Valon held a bag of ice to his crotch.

_Them boots o' 'ers 'urt!_ he thought.

Then, he turned his thoughts to the person responsible.

_I'll get 'im! I WILL!_

DOOM Fangirl: "Very short chapter, I know, but deal. Yes, I realize that Alister would (most likely) NEVER do something like that, but it's fanfiction. I'm not sure when my next chapter will be up. I'll try for today or tomorrow, but I'm not sure what the next prank should be. Suggestions are all very welcome. Please review. Also, to everyone reading "I Never Knew", I apologize for not updating it, but I'm not sure where I want it to go. Anyway, later!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

DOOM Fangirl: "Alright! Next chapter! I don't have much to say, just that I hope you enjoy it!"

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Valon was beyond pissed, now that he wasn't sure if he was able to have children, any longer.

So, he got Ishizu to help him again, through exaggerating what Alister had done, and leaving out what he, himself, did.

So, after she agreed to help him, Valon went to work-he played around with the redhead's cellphone to change the ringtone to one he figured would be humiliating, then quickly stuck a piece of paper to the back of his trench coat (Alister STILL hasn't gotten the sense to lock his bedroom door).

Just then, Ishizu called back.

_Perfect!_ the brunet thought, calling, "Oi, Al! 'S for you!"

Alister came into the room, and snatched the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Alister? This is Ishizu Ishtar. Seto needs to see you as soon as possible."

"What for?"

"He wouldn't tell me."

The redhead sighed, and said, "I'm not really doing anything-I'll be right over."

"Thank you. May I speak to Valon?"

"Yeah, sure." Alister gave the phone back to the Aussie, and went to get his coat.

"Yeah, Ish?" Valon asked.

"You owe me BIG!" the Egyptian woman told him.

**Later, at Kaiba Corp…**

Alister was let in, because Ishizu had told security he'd be coming, but everyone who saw his back stared, smiled, or snickered.

Mokuba saw what everyone else did and burst out into a fit of laughter, but did not tell the redhead that he had a sign on his back which read: 'KAIBA'S BITCH'.

When Alister entered Seto's office, he was actually a little nervous-he hadn't seen the CEO since they're last duel, and he wasn't sure if the brunet still had any bad feelings toward him.

"What are YOU doing here?" was the first thing out of Seto's mouth.

Alister blinked, then said, "Didn't you want to see me?"

"No, not really. I've had enough of you to last me a lifetime, thanks. The grudge, the dueling, the confessions of love. I've had enough."

The redhead's cheeks turned slightly pink, as he remembered the time he told the brunet he was in love with him.

In truth, it was only infatuation, but it sure had SEEMED like love.

"W-Well, then…wh-why did Ishizu call me and…"

Just then, the song 'Barbie Girl' started playing.

"What the hell?" Seto asked confused.

Alister realized that the sound was coming from his pocket, and he let out an embarrassed noise that resembled a squeak, then quickly answered his cellphone.

"H-Hello?" he asked.

"Oi, there, Mate!" came the voice of another blue-eyed brunet. "'Ow's it goin'?"

"YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!" the redhead screamed into the phone, before hanging up, and setting it to vibrate.

He looked back to the CEO, who was obviously holding back a smile.

"Honestly, Alister-'Barbie girl'?" he asked, the corners of his mouth twitching.

Alister blushed full-force, and said, "I-I-I…I'll go, now.""By all means, do."

The redhead turned to leave, only to hear Seto shout, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Alister turned back to the brunet, and asked what was wrong.

"Y-you…On your back…What on Earth?"

The slightly older male's brow furrowed, before he groped at his back, and pulled off the sign.

When he looked at it, he turned a brand new shade of red, and sputtered unintelligibly.

"Alister, get out of here, and never come back, please," the CEO said, blushing a bit himself.

The redhead nodded, and left.

_That Aussie's gonna get it! _he thought, as he crumpled the paper sign, and threw it into the nearest trashcan.

DOOM Fangirl: "Oh, God! I think Valon really crossed the line, this time! Sorry it took a bit to get this chapter up, but I've been working on youtube. If you wanna see my youtube vids, look in my profile for the link to my channel. Anyway, please leave a review, and any suggestions for this story would be greatly appreciated. Later!


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

DOOM Fangirl: "Okay, then! It's that time again! ^^ Many thanks to white pedal for her ideas-I appreciate it very much, pedal! ^^ Anyways, enjoy!" ^^

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

When Alister got home, Valon was by the door, smirking.

"Everythin' go alright?" the Aussie asked.

The redhead nearly killed him (he actually WOULD have, had Raphael not come and stopped him).

"I HATE YOU, VALON! I'LL KILL YOU!" Alister promised, still trying to get at the brunet, but being unable to as Raphael was holding him up in the air by the collar of his coat.

"Righ'. Good luck wit tha'." Valon chuckled, walking away.

The redhead growled like a dog, and struggled futilely against the blond's grip.

**A few days later…**

Alister thought long and hard about how to get back at Valon, but, somehow, nothing that didn't involve maiming and/or killing the boy didn't seem good enough.

Then a plan came to him; a plan so ridiculously juvenile that it was actually FUNNY!

He pretended to be sad all day, and, then, he approached the brunet, and said, "Hey, Valon?"

"Wha'?" the Australian asked.

"Mai broke up with me," he lied.

"SERIOUSLY?" Valon asked, smiling.

Alister nodded sadly. "Said I was 'too serious', and…I want YOU to have her, if I can't."

"Oh…Um…Thanks, Mate."

"No problem. And-by the way-she likes guys that make her laugh, and I know there's this one joke she really loved."

"Wha' is it."

"Well…"

**A bit later…**

"Oi, Mai," Valon said, approaching the blonde woman.

Said woman sighed. "What do you WANT?"

"I wanted to tell ya a joke," the brunet replied, grinning.

She sighed again. "Go ahead."

"Righ'. Well, two blondes walk into a building-you'd think ONE of 'em woulda seen it!"

She scowled and slapped him.

"Ow! Wha' was THA' for?"

"For making a 'dumb blonde' joke!" she seethed. 'In case you haven't noticed: I'M BLONDE!"

_Oh, fuck-she's right!_

"God, I need to get out. Where's Alister-maybe he'll take me somewhere…"

"Didn't you break up wit 'im?"

"No. Why WOULD I? He's a GREAT guy-unlike YOU!" (DOOM Fangirl: "Sorry, Valon; I DO love you." ^^)

"But…but…but…"

But Mai wasn't really listening anymore-she had gone off to find her boyfriend.

'_E's gonna fuckin' get it! _the teen thought angrily.

DOOM Fangirl: "And, thus, chapter eleven comes to a close. Thanks again to white pedal for her ideas (though I used a different joke).^^ Anyways, please leave a review, and, if you have any suggestions for the story, please PM me, because I'm running low on ideas! However, I am somehow able to keep up with ideas for YT…I've got 50-some vids, and I just started on the 26th! Please check them out! ^^ Til next time, people! Love ya!"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

DOOM Fangirl: "Hey, ya'll! I'm back again! ^^ Once again, thanks to white pedal for giving me a great idea to go with! Love you, Pedal-chan! ^^ Anyways, enjoy! ^^"

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Valon was pissed again, and felt he needed revenge again. (IT NEVER ENDS!)

So, he got a very mean idea.

He knew Alister always took aspirin at around the same time everyday, and that it was at around this time.

So, he got a bottle filled with a certain horrible, evil liquid (NOT poison!), and waited until Mai was in conversation with the redhead, then went into his room (SWEET JESUS, DOES ALISTER EVEN HAVE A BRAIN? HE DIDN'T LEARN TO LOCK HIS DOOR, YET?), and found a glass of cranberry juice (he hated the stuff even MORE since the incident in chapter three!).

He had an evil smile on his face as he poured the X-Lax into the drink.

**A few minutes later…**

A few minutes after taking his aspirin, Alister felt a strange feeling in his gut.

A few seconds after he got this feeling, he was sprinting into the bathroom, and he almost didn't make it!

He was in there for a good 30 minutes, shitting out pretty much everything he'd ever had inside him x2!

When he came out, Serenity said, "God! It's about time! What were you DOING in there?"

Alister chose to ignore her question.

He didn't get why he'd had to go like that.

"FUCK! IT SMELLS LIKE 50 ELEPHANTS JUST TOOK MAJOR SHITS IN HERE!" Serenity yelled, when she went in.

The redhead's face got warm, then Raphael came by, and said, "Do you know what happened to my X-Lax? I had almost a full bottle of it, and now I can't find it."

Everything quickly clicked.

"He…Is…Dead," Alister muttered softly, before going to his room to plot.

DOOM Fangirl: "That's all for this chapter! God, this is fun to write! ^^ And, thanks again, Pedal-chan for giving me something to work with! ^^ Please review. Later! ^^


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

DOOM Fangirl: "Wow! We're in the teens! Many, MANY thanks to my official muse, white pedal. Also, if you've never seen the video "2 Girls, 1 Cup" GOOD! DON'T WATCH IT! It's disgusting! Anyways, please enjoy!"

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

Alister thought for a while about how to get back at Valon THIS time.

He finally thought of something when he remembered the time the brunet had tricked him into watching the YouTube video "2 Girls, 1 Cup" and he got an idea.

He knew the password to Valon's email, so he went on it, then sent Serenity the link to the video, with the message: 'Thought you'd like this; it's cool!"

_That oughta do it! _the redhead thought.

**A bit later…**

A shrill scream could be heard from Serenity's room.

Alister smirked as Raphael went to see what was wrong.

"HOLY FUCK!" he heard the man exclaim.

A few words were exchanged, then Raphael said, 'I'll kill him!"

"Please DO!" was his girlfriend's reply.

**Later…**

"Keep breathing, Sir!" a paramedic told Valon, as the teen was placed on a stretcher, and put in an ambulance.

The brunet wanted desperately to snap, 'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO DO, DAMNIT?" but only had the strength to flip the man off, then go unconscious.

When why what went down had gone down was explained later, Valon knew who was responsible, and he knew he had to get back at him!

But, then, something happened…

DOOM Fangirl: "OMG! WHAT NEXT? I'll put the next chapter out soon, since I know where I'm taking it, already! ^^ Later, peoples!"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

DOOM Fangirl: "Yeah, I was going to use other peoples' ideas, but then I got my own totally wrong idea! ^^ I like it! It's totally messed up! ^^ Enjoy!"

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Valon couldn't think of a way to get back at Alister for what he'd done without the use of one of his arms (Raphael had broken it in three places).

Then, he was looking through some raunchy magazine, and saw an advertisement that he thought might help.

He called quickly to order the item.

**A few days later…**

The thing Valon had ordered arrived, and he managed to pick the lock to Alister's door (yes, he's finally locking it), and slip inside.

He put the object-which happened to be a pair of underwear-in the redhead's top dresser drawer, then slipped back out.

**The next day…**

The Aussie didn't know if Alister was wearing the underpants he'd put in his drawer, but he knew he could find out with the press of a button.

So, he pressed it.

The effect was almost immediate, as the redhead felt a tingle at his crotch and moaned softly.

Valon snickered softly, then pressed the button again.

The tingling became full-fledged vibrating, making the poor redhead whimper as he felt pleasure course through him.

"Are you okay, Alister?" Serenity, who was sitting next to him asked, as she slowly scooted away.

"I-I d-don't know what's h-happening!" he chocked out, then moaned.

The Australian pressed the button one more time, making the vibrating intensify, making Alister convulse, and scream.

Serenity ran like hell, and Valon couldn't hold back anymore-he burst out laughing, as the redhead quaked with pleasure.

"Wh-wh-what's s-s-so fucking f-funny?" he managed.

"The fact that you're wearin' vibratin' underpants," the brunet laughed.

"T-t-t-turn 'em…o-off!" Alister demanded.

"Not yet, Mate."

"N-now!"

"Ya COULD jes' take 'em off, ya know?"

The redhead wanted to snap that there was no way he'd be able to get enough control over his body to do that, but then he felt heat tugging in his stomach.

He started panting.

Valon decided he really didn't feel like watching Alister orgasm, so he left the room.

So, he didn't SEE it, but pretty much all of Domino City heard it about ten seconds later.

As soon as he heard the redhead scream, Valon pressed the button one last time, turning the underpants off.

Just then, Mai went running past the brunet and into the den to see what was wrong.

"Alister, are you…OH MY GOD!" Valon heard her scream.

**In the shower, a few minutes later…**

As Alister washed himself, he knew he had to get Valon good for this one!

He thought for a moment…

…Then it hit him!

DOOM Fangirl: "Hee hee hee! Yeah, that was way wrong-o! But fun to write! Please leave a review! Later!"


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

DOOM Fangirl: "This is very fun to write. Anyhow, enjoy!"

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Alister still had pictures from the days of DOOM, and remembered the section he'd titled "BLACKMAIL".

He looked through it, and found all he needed.

Though there would be no blackmailing involved; these would be posted online, regardless of anything Valon agreed to do or not do.

The redhead hacked the brunet's Facebook account, and posted the all of the pictures.

**Later…**

When Valon logged onto his Facebook, many people had posted on his wall.

He looked…

…and almost died.

There were pictures of him that he had never posted.

One was of him drunk and drinking out of a toilet; one was of him in Cookie Monster pajamas; in yet another, he was in a sequined butterfly thong.

_I musta been REALLY drunk, 'cuz I dun even REMEMBER tha' one! _he thought, feeling completely mortified.

He removed the pictures, but the damage had been done, as pretty much all of his Facebook friends had seen them.

His heart almost stopped beating when he saw a comment from Mai about the one of him in the thong.

"_Valon, you've got issues. Why the hell did you tell me to check out these pics? I can assure you, this does NOT look sexy. Alister could pull that off; you can't."_

The Aussie felt his cheeks flame with a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

He got up from his desk, and went to Alister's room.

He really wasn't ready for what was there.

DOOM Fangirl: "I already know what I'm doing next, so I'll have it up, soon. Please review. Later!"


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

DOOM Fangirl: "Okay, then-here's chapter sixteen! Enjoy!"

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

When Valon arrived at Alister's room, he stopped outside the door, when he heard a soft moan.

"Oh, God, that feels good," he heard the redhead say.

_I guess he kept the underwear,_ the brunet thought.

Then he heard another voice say, "I aim to please, Alister."

'_Old on! Tha' sounded like Mai!_

"Yeah, well, you sure…Oh my god! Do that again!"

"Oh, you like that, huh?"

"Yeah. Oh, God! M-Mai, I-I think I…I'm…"

There was a scream, much like the one from chapter 14, and Valon could guess what had just happened.

"M-M-Mai…That…was…amazing!"

"Like I said, Babe: I aim to please. Now, YOU please ME."

"I-I-I actually…I'm…I've never…"

"Aww, just a confused, mixed-up virgin, huh? That's okay. After I stroke this bad boy back to life, I'll show ya how it's done."

Valon couldn't take it, anymore; the woman he loved was about to have sex with someone he hated.

He ran back to his room, tears stinging his eyes, not even apologizing when he bumped into Serenity, knocking her down.

Once in his room, the brunet couldn't hold back, anymore; he cried.

He hadn't cried in a long time-not since the night the church burned down.

Valon made a decision then-he was leaving.

He wasn't sure where he'd go, but he couldn't stay in that house.

He threw money, clothes, and some personal belongings into a duffle bag, scribbled a note for everyone, left said note on the kitchen table, then hit the road.

**The next morning…**

Serenity was the first one to see the note.

Her eyes got wide as she read it, then she called everyone to come in.

"What's wrong?" Raphael asked.

"Yeah, Hun; what is it?" Mai asked.

Alister grumbled-a lot had happened the night before, and he was honestly exhausted from having came about seven separate times.

Serenity read the note:

'_To Mai, Raph, Ren, and Al,_

_I can't stay here anymore. I don't really belong here. None of you need me._

_So, I'm hitting the road._

_Mai, I hope you're happy._

_Raph, same._

_Ren, I'm sorry about all the times I called you a brat; you're a really nice sheila._

_Al, you're lucky to have a woman like Mai. Be good to her._

_Please don't look for me. I don't think I'm coming back._

_But I'll never forget any of you._

_Bye._

_-Valon'_

"No!" Mai exclaimed when Serenity put the note down. "He…he thinks he can just…No!"

She grabbed her helmet, and went out to her motorcycle.

Alister and Raphael followed suit.

"What about me?" Serenity asked her boyfriend.

"You stay here, in case he comes back, and call me if he does," he said, kissing her forehead.

**Meanwhile…**

Valon sat on a park bench, just watching the grass grow.

He didn't have much money, and he didn't have anywhere where he was welcome besides the place he'd left.

"Valon?" a female voice asked. "Is that you?"

DOOM Fangirl: "Dude! I am such a bitch, because I'm ending the chapter here! But I'm writing the next chapter as soon as I post this one, so it might be up by the time this is read by anyone. Please leave a review. Later!"


	17. Chapter 17 LAST CHAPTER!

Chapter Seventeen

DOOM Fangirl: "Here's another chapter! Yay! By the way, there will be a separate story called "What The Jealousy Fic DIDN'T Show You" in which I will be more detailed in what happened in chapter sixteen between Alister and Mai. There will also be another chapter of that fic for this chapter. Anyway, please enjoy the chapter!"

Valon turned and saw a brunette tan-skinned girl in a short beige dress.

"Mana?" he asked.

"It IS you!" the magician exclaimed, hugging him, tightly.

The Australian returned the embrace half-heartedly.

He and Mana had been friends ever since she'd come to this world, and landed on him.

They had both been embarrassed, since she's landed on top of him, with her foot in his crotch, and her chest in his face, but they were both pretty cool about it.

They didn't see each other that often, but Mana really liked Valon.

"What's wrong?" she asked, realizing he wasn't hugging like a teddy bear, as he normally did.

"Oh, I…I dunno. I guess it's jes'…I left 'ome…An' I ain't got no where to go…"

"Why'd you leave?"The boy sighed, and told her briefly what had been happening the past few weeks.

"An' I've always loved Mai, so I left," he finished, chocking back tears.

He had already cried alone, and that was bad enough; he was NOT going to cry in front of Mana.

The girl kissed his cheek softly.

"It'll be okay, Valon," she assured him, hugging him.

"Thanks, Mana" he said quietly.

"If you want, you could stay with me and Kisara," she suggested lightly.

"Ya'd let me?"

"Yeah, of course!"

"Well…maybe for a bit. Till I can get some more money, an' stand on me own two feet legally."

"Yay! Kisara will be SO happy! It's been so long since we…" the magician stopped talking.

"Since ya wha'?" Valon asked.

"Oh! Um, nothing, nothing! Let's go!"

**Meanwhile…**

"Where do you think he'd go?" Serenity asked.

"Who knows?" Raphael replied. "He's as unpredictable as they come."

"He annoyed me," Mai said quietly, "but I didn't want him to leave. I never really…thanked him enough."

"For roping you up in DOOM?" Alister asked.

"For helping me meet you, Alister," the blonde replied quietly.

**Later, at Mana and Kisara's…**

"Oh, I'm so happy you're staying!" Kisara exclaimed. "We'll all have SO much fun!"

"Yes," Mana giggled. "LOT'S of fun!"

Kisara giggled, too.

Valon just raised an eyebrow, but dismissed it as an inside joke.

He was in for a big surprise that night.

**The next day…**

"You two sheilas are lil' devils, ya know tha'?" Valon said, as he lay in bed naked with Mana and Kisara on either side of him, ALSO naked.

"At least we untied you after the first four rounds," the dragon told him.

"Yeah," the magician giggled.

"And besides, it was the LEAST you could do for us, since we're letting you stay," Kisara continued.

"I guess," the boy said. "But…tha' was me best time, I think…I jes' might have to stay 'ere for a bit."

"Then, we can do this EVERY night!" Mana said, running her down Valon's stomach, making him laugh and jolt from his ticklishness.

Both girls figured out why he did that, and decided to attack him.

The teen, for once in his life, didn't care that he was being mercilessly tickled; these girls were fun (and HOT!), and he really didn't care about anything but them.

**About a month later…**

Raphael answered the phone when it rang.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Raph?" replied a familiar Australian accented voice.

"Valon?" he asked. "Where are you? Are you okay? Do you need bail money?"

"Calm down," the boy chuckled. "'M fine. 'M with Mana an' Kisara, an' I'll probably be stayin' with 'em for a while."

"Don't bother them, Valon-come back home."

"He's not bothering us!" came Mana's voice from the other phone. "We're having a lot of fun!"

"Okay, but we'd really like him back home, Mana."

"Never!" came Kisara's voice. "We're keeping him!"

They then started singing Shania Twain's song "Forever and For Always"

Valon chuckled.

"Dun worry 'bout me, Raph; them two are takin' righ' good care o' me."

Just then, an unearthly shriek was heard, followed by Mai's voice saying, "Alister! Are you okay?"

"I'd…better go see what that was," Raphael said, setting the phone on the table.

He went to Mai's room, which was where the sounds had come from.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Pregnant…Baby…Mine…" Alister said, then fainted.

After it clicked five seconds later, the muscular blond also fainted.

"Wow," Mai said.

**About eight months later…**

"Breathe and push, honey," the nurse said soothingly to Mai, who screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?"

Alister had been removed from the room after passing out from anticipation, leaving Mai with strangers, until, suddenly, Valon burst in.

"Mai, you okay?" he asked.

"V-Valon?" she asked.

"Yeah. I came when I 'eard, but they wouldn't lemme in, so Mana used a freezing spell on 'em."

"Hold my hand, please!" the blonde said.

The brunet took her hand, wincing as she squeezed with all her strength.

**30 minutes later…**

Valon walked into the waiting area, where a worried Serenity, an anxious Alister, a comforting Raphael, and Mana and Kisara (who were just plain excited) sat.

"It's a girl," the brunet told them.

"You'd think it was YOURS, or something," Serenity said, smiling slightly.

"A girl…I have a daughter…" Alister passed out again.

"Is he always like that?" Mana asked.

"Pretty much." Raphael, Serenity and Valon all replied at the same time.

**Three days later…**

Mai was allowed to go home, and she took hers and Alister's little bundle of joy, Alison, with them.

"She looks like ya, ya know," Valon commented to the redhead.

"Yeah," the man said, stroking his daughter's cheek with the backs of two fingers.

After getting over the shock of it all, Alister made a very caring, attentive father.

"Um, Valon?" Kisara said timidly.

"Mmm?"

"Do you like baby dragons?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Because I'm going to be having one."

The brunet fainted.

DOOM Fangirl: "And I am ending this story! Wow! It's come a long way! (Sort of.) Like said in the opening, I'm going to write lemons of what happened with Alister and Mai in chapter sixteen, and what happened that first night with Valon, Mana and Kisara in this chapter. Look for it sometime, if you're interested. I'm out! Please review!"


End file.
